Have you ever noticed a team member who always says 'yes' even when they are clearly overwhelmed? Many of us have encountered fellow teammates with these tendencies in the workplace. While on the surface, these employees may appear dedicated and hardworking, the underlying motivations can lead to significant stress and burnout. As a manager, understanding and addressing people-pleasing tendencies in your team is crucial for fostering a healthy and productive workplace.
Understanding People-Pleasing Behaviour
People-pleasing behaviour often stems from a deep-seated need for approval and fear of rejection. These individuals might take on excessive workloads, avoid conflict at all costs, and constantly seek validation from their colleagues and superiors. This behaviour can lead to a vicious cycle of overcommitment and self-neglect, ultimately affecting their performance and well-being. Anxiety and a desire to avoid negative emotions are often at the core of these tendencies.
Signs of People-Pleasing in the Workplace
Identifying people-pleasing behaviour in the workplace can help in providing the necessary support. Common signs include:
Perfectionism: Consistently striving for flawlessness, often at the expense of time and energy. Perfectionism and anxiety often go hand in hand.
Over-Agreeableness: Frequently agreeing to tasks and responsibilities, even when already overwhelmed.
Difficulties with Work-Life Balance: Struggling to maintain a healthy balance between work responsibilities and personal life due to overcommitment. Understanding the work-life balance importance and implementing work-life balance tips can be crucial.
Avoidance of Conflict: Reluctance to engage in discussions or decisions that might lead to disagreement.
Constant Need for Validation: Seeking frequent approval from supervisors and peers to feel secure and valued.
The Impact on Employees and the Workplace
Employees who exhibit people-pleasing tendencies often face significant challenges that can affect both their well-being and inadvertently impact the workplace. Overextending themselves to meet others' demands frequently leads to burnout, causing physical and emotional exhaustion. The constant need to please others results in chronic stress and anxiety, as individuals continuously seek external validation to feel secure and valued. Over time, this reliance on others' approval can undermine self-esteem, making employees question their worth and capabilities. Their reluctance to advocate for themselves can also stifle professional growth, hindering opportunities for advancement and recognition within the workplace. The workplace itself is also affected by these tendencies. Burnout and chronic stress reduce employee efficiency and productivity, leading to decreased performance and higher absenteeism. When employees finds it challenging to assert themselves or set boundaries, it can create an imbalanced workload distribution, where a few individuals end up shouldering the majority of tasks. This imbalance can lead to tension among team members, disrupting workplace harmony and collaboration. Moreover, heightened stress and burnout means that organisations might miss out on valuable contributions and innovative ideas from these team members, as performance is negatively impacted when experienciing chronic stress and burnout.
What You Can Do as a Manager to Support
Promote Open Communication: Encourage a culture of openness where team members feel comfortable expressing their needs and concerns. Regular one-on-one meetings can provide a safe space for employees to discuss their workloads and any challenges they face.
Recognise and Reward Efforts: Acknowledge the hard work and dedication of your team members. Positive reinforcement can build confidence and reduce the need for external validation. Implementing regular feedback opportunities can help employees feel valued for their contributions.
Provide Training and Resources: Offer wellbeing workshops. Topics on setting boundaries and assertiveness training can build confidence and resilience. Equipping employees with these skills can empower them to manage their time and workload more effectively. Consider bringing in experts to run sessions on stress management and resilience. Offering a stress management course or workplace mental health training can be particularly beneficial.
Ensure Access to Mental Health Support: Make mental health resources readily available. Providing access to counselling sessions, having people who are mental health first aid trained onsite, and employee assistance programmes can help employees manage stress and seek support when needed.
Encourage Work-Life Balance: Advocate for reasonable working hours and regular breaks. Implement policies that support flexible working arrangements, such as remote work options and flexible scheduling. Encourage employees to take their holiday days and respect their personal time. Guidance on how to avoid burnout and how to assess stress in the workplace can also be crucial.
Model Healthy Behaviour: As a manager, lead by example. Demonstrate healthy boundary-setting and prioritise your well-being. When employees see their leaders taking care of themselves, they are more likely to feel comfortable doing the same.
Creating a Supportive Environment
By recognising people-pleasing tendencies and providing appropriate support, managers can help employees balance dedication with self-care. This approach not only enhances individual well-being but also contributes to a more positive and productive workplace culture. Remember, a team that feels supported and valued is more likely to thrive and contribute to the organisation's success.
Seeking Support and Additional Resources
If you are affected by any of these topics, you can find more about people-pleasing root causes and how to overcome here. Reach out to someone you trust, seek support from a trusted individual, or consider counselling sessions from a therapy service like ours in Yeovil. You can also find plenty of online counselling options at the Counselling Directory, or other local service on the where you can explore services from WellBe and other providers in your local area.
It's important to take the first step towards prioritising your wellbeing. Whether it's through personal reflection, professional help, or support from your community, there are resources available to help you overcome people-pleasing tendencies and lead a more balanced life.
References
Bariso, J. (2018). "How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser." ResearchGate. Available at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326998074_How_to_stop_being_a_people-pleaser
Psychology Today. "Breaking the Cycle of People-Pleasing." Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-emotional-meter/202401/breaking-the-cycle-of-people-pleasing
Millennial Therapy. "Signs of People-Pleasing in the Workplace." Available at: https://www.millennialtherapy.com/anxiety-therapy-blog/signs-of-people-pleasing-in-the-workplace
Forbes. "The Hidden Cost of People-Pleasing in the Workplace." Available at: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2024/07/08/the-hidden-cost-of-people-pleasing-in-the-workplace/
Psychology Today. "People-Pleasers on the Job." Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201409/people-pleasers-on-the-job
Counselling Directory. "People-Pleasing: Understanding the Roots and Consequences." Available at: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/people-pleasing-understanding-the-roots-and-consequences
Gino, F., Sezer, O., & Huang, L. (2020). "Why It Doesn’t Pay to be a People-Pleaser" Available at: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_it_doesnt_pay_to_be_a_people_pleaser
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